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Adam & Eve

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make, and she will not nag you. She will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise everything you do! She will bear your children, and never ask you to get up
in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will never have a headache and will freely give you love whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "Well, she's quite expensive you know. She will cost you an arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "So what can I get for a rib?"

Faithful wife

Ezra was in hospital, dying, and his faithful wife, Rebecca, was there beside him.

Ezra looks into his wife’s eyes and says, “Becky, when we were taken into the concentration camps during the war, you were there beside me. When our first born son died, you were there beside me. When my business went bust, and we lost everything, you were there beside me. And now Becky, when I’m dying in hospital, here you are, still beside me. Becky, you’re a jinx!”

Is there a God?

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic who used to lie awake at night wondering if there really was a dog?

The young monk

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.


He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all the subsequent copies.


The abbot says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'


The abbot goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot . . .


So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

'We missed the
 R !

We missed the R !

We missed the R !'

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?' With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was...


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