AUG
22
St Martin's Church
St Martin’s Church Centre
Church Street
Liskeard
Cornwall
PL14 3AQ
Tel: 01579 347411 (Church Office)
Email: St Martin's Church 
Facebook: LiskeardPrayers
Twitter: @liskeardprayers
Click here for our church services
Well Being Centre, Pigmeadow Lane, Liskeard, PL14 6AT. Tel:01579 344090
Ward Randall Limited, Chartered Accountants and Registered Auditors
Rob Frost Photography,

Adam & Eve

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make, and she will not nag you. She will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise everything you do! She will bear your children, and never ask you to get up
in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will never have a headache and will freely give you love whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "Well, she's quite expensive you know. She will cost you an arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "So what can I get for a rib?"

Faithful wife

Ezra was in hospital, dying, and his faithful wife, Rebecca, was there beside him.

Ezra looks into his wife’s eyes and says, “Becky, when we were taken into the concentration camps during the war, you were there beside me. When our first born son died, you were there beside me. When my business went bust, and we lost everything, you were there beside me. And now Becky, when I’m dying in hospital, here you are, still beside me. Becky, you’re a jinx!”

Is there a God?

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic who used to lie awake at night wondering if there really was a dog?

The young monk

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

 

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all the subsequent copies.

 

The abbot says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

 

The abbot goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.


Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot . . .

 

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.


'We missed the
 R !

We missed the R !

We missed the R !'

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?' With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was...


CELEBRATE !!!

This Microportal is built on the 2day Microportals platform which provides you with 3 click access to local and global information crucial both to your personal and working life. The platform provides live local data on transport, what's on, accommodation, eating out, shopping, sport, religion and weather as well as comprehensive reference and resource sections including TV, radio, online shopping, route planning, health, education and more.

We are not responsible for the content of external internet sites to which any 2day supported sites are linked. We do not share any contact information with other providers. We use cookies to make our site work efficiently. More information on privacy and cookies.

Copyright © 2004–2019 2day Microportals, East Quither Farm, Milton Abbot, Tavistock, Devon, PL19 0PZ, UK.